Recent posts

Regression From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (54 days old)

I regress. Every time I come over the Ross/Monmouth border into Wales and visit my parents. I go from being a largely intelligent adult to a child. I lose my powers of reasoning, my ability to act as … more
hello :) From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (64 days old)

It's a beautiful morning at this end. I somehow managed to get to work early and am feeling surprisingly bouncy! I wonder how long it will last? I've not been writing here much as I seemed to have … more
Tear Release From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (96 days old)

It's probably a sign of how I'm feeling at the moment...I could really do with some of these as I feel like there is so much emotion in me and I would love to release it but can't! Anyway it looked be… more
escapism From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (99 days old)

Today I am feeling like I really want to escape from it all. I want to go to a place where nobody knows me and where no-one can contact me. I want my mind to be cleared of all thoughts as I am fed… more
...my brain on Saturday morning From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (110 days old)

I've woken up feeling like I've had a skinful of alcohol. In reality it was a can of lager and two glasses of wine. I feel confused by how things are going. I guess the elation of last week has di… more
feeling full of stuff From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (110 days old)

When the ex and I looked into adoption we were warned about the emotions we would go through. We were told that it would be a process of highs and lows where we would reflect on our lives taking into … more
My story - an overview From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (114 days old)

I was adopted as a baby. I never knew my Mum as I was immediately put into foster care and then taken to the home where I was to grow up. I always knew. From about three years old they told me how I h… more
DEEPression From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (121 days old)

I went to the doctor on Friday morning. I wasn't going to but when I found myself sat in the car crying hysterically after my card refused to work in the garage I figured it was probably a good move. … more
yawwwwwwn From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (125 days old)

In work on my own and I am so incredibly bored. I have the radio on but it's not helping to keep the yawns at bay. I am also incredibly tired. Since the events of my birthday a week and a half ago… more
weirdness From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (132 days old)

I've had the weirdest few days and a 30th birthday which will be memorable for all of the wrong reasons. As a result I've been preoccupied and not really in the mood for blogging. Will write more … more
Fed up From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (141 days old)

Fed up with being skint. Fed up with not having enough money to make ends meet. Fed up with having my phones disconnected because I can't afford to pay my bill. Fed up with barely being able to afford… more
Birthdays From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (146 days old)

It's my 30th next weekend. Sunday 28th June. Put it in your diaries! I decided that with it being a big one this year I'd try and get people together. I mean I do know a fair few people...work, uni… more
Shit happens! From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (151 days old)

Well I've always known that shit happens. I've also always believed that bad things happen in threes (sorry but my mum is super superstitious...she salutes magpies, crossed her fingers when ambulances… more
Enjoy the silence From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (151 days old)

I'm down with my parents and I am fidning it tough. It's normally a challenging time for me as I find myself needing to hide who I am and various other things away "just in case the neighbours fin… more
Why me? From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (153 days old)

I feel so incredibly fed up. I attended an interview (as you probably already know) back in May and was offered the job. I sent off my letter of acceptance and bent over backwards to visit the scho… more
Randomness From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (154 days old)

Was it me being overtired this morning or were Bill, Ben (The Flowerpot Men) and Weed really thumbing a lift at Junction 4 of the M5. There I was driving along and I glanced over to see them there … more
the joys of a medium distance relationship... From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (160 days old)

I seem to find myself increasingly looking forward to the weekends. I guess it is one of the joys of a slightly long distance relationship that the time you do spend together is special and precio… more
...changes... From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (163 days old)

It's June...already Where has the year so far gone? So much has changed in the last six months... I've gone from being in a relationship for five and a half years to one which is in it's ea… more
Changing Times From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (169 days old)

It's strange growing up, getting older, moving on... I spent the weekend with my ex and current girlfriends seeing some of the sights of South Wales. A leisurely drive down was followed by a v… more
Hitting a Low From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (195 days old)

I can feel my mood dipping and it scares me, and it's for a number of reasons that I am afraid. The first I guess is I don't know where it has come from. I mean I am in a new relationship with a w… more
putting a smile on my face From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (195 days old)

I got home last night to find my girl lying in the middle of my living room floor with the dawg. It was a nice sight as I think I've only come home to find her there once before and whilst I was expec… more
Ms Toogood From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (196 days old)

Today I've been a good girl :>> 1. I offered to stay late to let power mad girl go home - she's been suffering with tonsilitis and looks like death warmed up 2. I completed a job application wh… more
...the parental visit... From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (197 days old)

My mum is coming up today. Coming to tidy up my old house and make it presentable for the hand over to the landlord. My mum is one of these ladies who on the surface is a sweetheart. Then when you … more
weird goings on From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (198 days old)

Is it silly but * I ring just to hear her voice * I text just so she knows that I am thinking about her * I smile when I get an email from her * I think constantly about when we'll next be toget… more
my head hurts From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (203 days old)

I've been off work for the last couple of days... I woke up on Sunday with a headache and just failed to shake it. After suffering in silence for a fair bit of the day I decided to take some pills … more
the mum & dad blues... From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (211 days old)

I spent some of this weekend with my parents. Wonderful people but I so often feel they don't get me. It frequently feels that the second they get through the door they criticise me, my life, my r… more
Making A Difference From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (217 days old)

I've been feeling for a while that I'd like to do something more rewarding with my life. As a teacher whether you liked it or not you were always helping people. Sometimes this was on a simple lev… more
Moving Homes From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (217 days old)

I moved house a couple of weeks ago (as I am sure regular readers will know) - it's about 20 doors away from where I was previously, has a fair bit more space and it quite a lot more comfy. I'm not… more
...families... From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (224 days old)

My parents and I have always had a slightly tempestuous relationship. This stems largely from their inability to be positive about me or anything within my life. Until recently I worked as a Teach… more
The B!tch is back From SianySianP in ...WYSIWYG... (239 days old)

The B!TCH...how dare she sit here and do no work all day then imply that I am the one who is slacking and can't cope with the workload? Have I complained once that she has left me to it? Have I mad… more