I left teaching back last September as I had grown fed up with kids thinking they knew better than me and who were lacking in manners and respect. I found secondary schools in England extremely different to the schools that I had attended in a child and whilst I loved working with the children the frustration grew and grew.
When I was teaching I always felt like I was doing a worthwhile job. Even if 5 out of a class of 25 responded positively that was something. I always felt that because I was making a difference the stresses of the job were we worth it.
As a temp I've enjoyed my roles and enjoyed the change of environment but have ultimately felt unstretched, unchallenged and increasingly demotivated. This last couple of weeks I have played on Paint in the day time and no-one has noticed or comment. As a temp within this organisation I get no career development in terms of courses (at least I did when temping with the prison service) and I have been told on a few occasions that my opinion doesn't count.
Due to this and not being able to find a permanent position I have found myself getting increasingly fed up and depressed. I've been back on medication about two and a half months now yet still suffer these highs and lows. I try to be positive but it's hard. It's especially hard when you have a line manager who obviously values his fixed term and permanent staff over his temps.
So I find myself wondering what I should be doing work and life wise. I can't cope with the boredom of temping much longer so do I risk going back into a classroom. Will I find it easier in a different area of the country? Will I find if better in a religious or independent school? Will I be able to overlook the fact that the profession gets me stressed out for double the money I am on at the moment and the long holidays?
I really don't know.
