...WYSIWYG...

I'm on leave from tomrrow until Monday and as I'll be out of the country I won't be updating my blog till I return.

I am part looking forward to and part dreading it. Silly hey?

I am looking forward to it as I am going to Bruges and although I have been there before it was beautiful and I can't wait to see the place again. It kind of reminded me of a smaller less sleazy Amsterdam - I mean it has the canals, bridges, similar architcture (and actually from an article I have read almost as many ladies of the night as that fair Dutch city!)

I am dreading it though on two accounts. Firstly because I have to leave the girl and dog behind (we split up a while ago and parents don't know we are back together - and it's probably best they don't know). Secondly, I am dreading it as I am, as you may have guessed, going with my parents and I'm not used to spending loads of time with them.

At the end of the day I'm sure there's nothing to worry about and I will probably have a fab time!

So speak to you next week people...over and out!

...it's getting dark out there and I for one hate driving in the dark.

I think more than anything it's all the people who drive with fog lights on - they're called fog lights for a reason you know!!

Anyway I feel like I'm ranting because I can so I'm going to do a runner now and hit the road!

I've been for two interviews this week and I've been unsuccessful both times. I think this brings the tally to 13 interviews so far and I am feeling so fed up with it all.

I keep getting told that I interview well but I don't have enough admin experience. I find that amusing as being a teacher was so often as much about admin as about getting up there and teaching the kids.

To top things off they've blocked this site at work - grrr!!

So, what's the plan? Well, I've seen the answer for tonight it's red and it comes out of a bottle...

Cheers!

I'm feeling in a difficult position today. At the start of the week I had two days off as my gf considerately passed on a stomach bug to me - this left me in large amounts of pain and feeling uunable to do much.

Anyway while off sick I had a letter inviting me to interview tomorrow. Now the job pays well, sounds interesting and is close to home. So, what's the problem?

It is an issue even thought it should be because..

The boss is difficult about time off at the best of times (for me anyway - for perms or fta's no problem at all) - in the past I have had battles with him for time off and I haven't been off ill at the start of the week either. The way I see it is I have a few options but can't decide which is the best to take.

1. Be honest - but if he says no it will leave me in the awkward position of potentially not having any option but to quit my job and go to the interview anyway or having to call in sick which will look really bad.

2. Call in sick - the problem with this is loosing a days wages and as I was sick at the beginning of the week will this send out alarm bells

3. Fake a doctor's appointment - this seems my best option in many ways but what if he won't give me time off to see the doc?

The interview is at 10:30 so I should be over with by 12 and in work for 12:30 (worst case scenario in for 1).

As a sufferer of anxiety I am really starting to stress over this which is stupid. I think more than anything it's him being unreasonable in the past that is causing me to get worked up about it now but I really don't know what to do...

...and so begins another day at work and I am feeling so unethusiastic about another day of filing and playing on the internet it is unreal!

I have some interviews coming up next week. The problem being they are very similar to the job I am doing at the moment. For this reason part of me is scared that I will end up being equally bored in one of these.

I don't know what to do job wise anymore. All I know is that there has to be more out there that I could do if I were given chance and that the lack of permanence is getting to me.

I love women and I mean that quite sincerely. I think women are incredible. When it comes to a relationship give me a woman over a man any day of the week. When it comes to work give me a room full of men over a single female colleague.

I think there are so many women out there who are excellent at keeping home at home and work at work. It's just the few who can't and consider it their duty to burden everyone else with their moods.

I appreciate this is a bit of a harsh comment but yesterday it was just me and my male boss. Neither of us felt particularly chatty so we sat in the office with the occasional chat when we felt like it. The feel of the office was pleasant. This morning the power mad girl returned after a weekend away. I asked politely how her weekend had been only to get snapped at with "I'm checking emails" from which I got the impression maybe the weekend wasn't as successful as she had hoped. She then felt the need to pick at and pull apart every bit of work I had done.

Immediately the stress free feeling of just me and the boss sitting and happily ignoring each other was gone and to make it worse the other EO in the office picks up on the power mad one's mood and starts behaving in an equally snappy and stressed manner off. When asked about her day of last week I was met with "I didn't have a day off" followed by "oh, yes it was okay thanks".

Women, leave your baggage and PMT at home... I manage to do it... so why the heck can't you?

I've been feeling so tired these last few days. However, much sleep I get doesn't seem to shift the need to just crash. I sit in work yawning which in part may be due to the fact that nothing ever happens in the place but also because of this perpetual tiredness.

I guess more than anything with me it is a sign of depression, that and wanting to burst into tears lots. I've been on medication a month now and whilst that helps supress the feelings to some extent it doesn't completely put them at bay.

A radio article yesterday interested me as it talked about food as a method of combatting the blues. Unfortunately the seminar was 25 miles away and due to a staffing shortage and lack of holidays I couldn't get to it. When I am low I cope either by eating lots or drinking lots and normally the wrong things too so I think it really would have helped...if anyone knows of a web-site I could visit it would be great if you could post it below!

My power mad colleague seems perpetually trying to catch me out and make me look stupid. I'm not impressed. It's almost like she wants to be boss' pet. I feel like a little girl back in school who gets "told on" every time she moves or speaks.

It's never big things she tries to get me on either. It's always the tiniest most pointless of things. I don't quite get it myself.

I think I largely put it down to a lack of intelligence on her behalf because surely no-one with the slightest of a brain would be doing this.

She's particularly bad when the boss is out of the office. As he is away for most of the week I am wondering what silly things I can do intentionally over the next couple of days for her to report back to him because I know she will just love that.

By the way...I know this potentially makes me sound a touch paranoid...I'm not. If you don't believe me try working here!

I'm working as a temp at the moment. It's dull. I feel understimulated. It's a dead end job. I want out.

I've applied for so many jobs over the past few months and there's something on my CV that employers can't seem to get over.

Is it that I have a drug habit? Nope
Is it that I have a criminal record? Nope
Is it that I have any other damning personal traits? Nope

In fact, the thing that goes against me is something I worked hard for. It's something I wanted all of my childhood. It's something I achieved and then realised that there had to be more than life than the stress it involved.

The thing that employers can't seem to get over is that I am a qualified teacher. Something about this word calls out to them and tells them to not even give me an interview.

So I am stuck as a temp. With a power mad colleague 6 years younger than me who despite being the same grade as me seems to believe that she is more important.

I seem to be stuck on dead end street and I need a way out before I die of boredom!